Haha!
What with a GLOBAL PANDEMIC giving us all a chance to seriously do the stuff that usually is just not viable, I went deep into this :)
Let me just say, that
Works.
It is the ONLY thing that works, trust me on this...
I copied the cloner, same effectors, swapped for the sphere, used mograph selection to have only the relevant sphere in the matrix visible, and no joy.
So I used a shader effector on THE SAME CLONER to isolate a single sphere using the 'Sort' mode instead of default 'Iterate', with a shader that was just a tiny white square in a big black square (made in PS) with the black area being planes and the white area being the sphere, all the effectors from the same cloner, etc...and the renderer still could not parse it correctly,
Bake the cloner to an alembic, and enjoy your DOF and Motion Blur!
SHOULDA LISTENED TO YOU EARLIER @HAVEALOT ;)